As many of you might know, this week is End the Fat Talk Week.
I think most people can admit to participating in “Fat Talk” at some point in their lives. I know I spoke my fair share.
I am actually really embarrassed to share this, but 10 years ago in college I worked with young kids at an elementary school – their before/after school program. One day I was having a “fat day” (as so many people refer to it), and I remember sitting next to a little 5 year old girl and coloring with her. The thoughts of how my pants felt tight on my stomach were going obsessively through my mind. So I finally asked the little girl, “Do I look fat?” (It actually makes me laugh out loud to think about her answer now….she tilted her head to the side, examined me and said, “Kind of!”)
Was I overweight at the time? No. Would it have even mattered? Absolutely NOT. I am so embarrassed that I actually asked this young, impressionable girl that question.
My oldest niece is 6 years old.
My little Reesie Cup
She has a raging sweet tooth (just like her Aunt Holly ;-) and is very tall and of average weight for her age. My sister (her mom) is worried about Reese growing up with the same insecurities that she and I had as kids and teenagers. I know there is no way to “prevent” eating disorders, but since Reese (and my other nieces and nephews) came into my life, I have made it a point NOT to fat talk around them. In fact, I’ve made it a point not to fat talk at all.
Katie had a great post the other day in which she mentioned a friend who constantly complains about being fat. This friend, however, is not fat. In Katie’s words, “Even though she’s directing the comments at herself, not at me, she is quite obviously smaller than I am. So if she thinks she’s fat, then – by logical extension – she thinks I too am fat. Fatter, even.”
I think we’ll all been in this type of situation, and only results in us (usually) feeling bad about ourselves. A friend of mine recently complained to my sister (who had a baby 6 months ago and looks beautiful and amazing) about being “Fatty McFatterson.” This friend has lost weight recently off of an already small frame, and quite frankly, has no fat to lose! But this statement immediately made my sister feel bad about herself.
It makes me so sad and almost angry to hear of statements like these. Not that I am judging people when they make them, because as I said, I was the QUEEN of Fat Talk for years! But we need to remember not only to be kind to ourselves, but to be aware of our “audience.” One of my friend’s mom passed away years ago….so I consciously don’t wax on about my Mom/Daughter time in front of her. Another friend was layed off from her job recently – so I make it a point not to complain incessantly about how much I hate dislike mine.
Above all, remember that our attitudes are contagious – if you are around positive people, chances are you’ll start thinking more optimistically. If you’re around people who love to laugh, chances are you’ll find yourself cracking jokes and laughing more, too. And if people around you notice that you love your body and aren’t criticizing it constantly, hopefully, they will learn to love theirs, too.
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GREAT post!
It is so true that our attitudes are contagious, and that we must be aware of our audience when we speak. I’m so glad that you’ve kicked the Fat Talking habit in your own life, and that you’re helping others to do the same! There’s no reason for all of us to go through life talking negatively about ourselves and hurting others in the process!
I like this post! I think we all go through our “days” like that. I don’t ever discuss it on my blog, but it doesn’t mean that it never happens…
Absolutely LOVED this post. I like how you say “remember who your audience is” – so true!
At my highest weight I was 210 pounds, my daughter was 8 at the time.
I love 70 pounds and kept that off for years – when my daughter got older, we were looking through pictures and I said “wow, I was really fat back then!”
She looked at me and said “all I saw was my beautiful Mom.” Of course I have her hugs and kisses after that!
My mom does that a lot. She’ll say that she’s so fat and all I think is that she’s smaller than me.
This is so true! I used to be that person and I finally checked myself and realized how negative and unattractive a quality it was. Now I never apologize for my weight and just love who I am. It’s amazing! Great post girl!
This post should be printed out and hung up on EVERY woman’s wall! This was so brilliantly written and straight from your honest heart. Your words could not be more true. I have most definitely participated in fat talk… many times. Every now and then I find myself slipping up and saying something… like just this weekend I said something like, “Watch out, wide load coming through…” referring to myself. Yes I have a big pregnant belly and was kind of just kidding, but part of me was serious and being hard on myself. I think it’s a defense mechanism… like I want to say it before anybody else can. And this is coming from me, who has come quite a long way when it comes to issues with my body… imagine how often people who are still struggling say and think these things about themselves! So sad.
Like you, it makes me most angry when these things are said around young children. I know I’ve probably slipped up before, but I know better now and it is so irritating to hear mothers criticize themselves (or others!) in front of their children. Even though I’m having a little boy, I still refuse to talk about dieting or fat talk in front of him b/c I truly believe males can be just as affected by it as women.
Thanks for another great post that really gets people to reflect on important issues!!
Great post. Both kids AND adults are sponges. We must be aware and be positive when we can. Great reflection pretty lady
i love when you make posts like these. you and i are so much alike!! <3
Love this post. Especially the last paragraph. Attitudes ARE contatgious so it’s time to be positive, ladies!
My sister is much skinnier than I am, and has made comments about how fat she is. One time, I did call her out, similar to your friend’s story, and said “So what does that make me? I am abviously bigger than you?” She shut up.
And a few years ago, she told me she didn’t want me to be skinnier than her. Sigh. I don’t want to be. I want to be healthy. She isn’t.
I’ve been fighting with myself all week, feeling absolutely huge. This is what I needed to read…it is contagious and I shouldn’t be tearing myself down!! Thanks for this.
[...] I understand that way of thinking to a point, it only makes me think of making that statement in front of my niece or another impressionable mind. Do I want them to think that, in order to have chocolate and [...]
[...] Reese in 2005…..gahhhh – look at those curls! [...]