(Remember that episode of Sex and the City?!!)
“How old are you?” (I get this question a lot. I suppose it has something to do with the fact that I act 23 sometimes, yet certainly don’t look it).
“I am 30.” (I smile….and I think I know where you are going with this.)
“Really?!! And you’re not married yet???!” And sometimes they’ll add, “Don’t you want kids???”
I cannot even tell you how many times this conversation happens to me. If I had a dollar for everytime it came up, I would be able to pull an Oprah and buy each of you readers a new car.
No, but really, it does come up a lot. I tell myself it’s flattering because maybe people think I really don’t
actlook my age, but really it also stings a little bit, too. You see, I’ll let you in on a little secret: Chicago aside, if you live in the Midwest and aren’t married by the age of 30, they make you wear this.
Or at least, it seems like they should!
I have no concerns about waiting to find the right person, but I would like to have my own kids one day. I talked to my OB/GYN (the SWEETEST guy ever), and he assured me that actually more than half of his pregnant patients are between the ages of 35-40! This made me feel so much better.
So, yes, most of my friends here are married, and most with kids. (I mean, I guess they don’t want to wear the shirt, above). I had ONE single, never-been-married girl friend, left – my friend, Sarah.
I am sure you can probably guess where all of this is going….last week I got a text from Sarah saying she was engaged! I was so, so happy for her. She is really one of the sweetest girls in the world – gorgeous, generous, optimistic, and you kinda want to hate her but you can’t.
I’m actually embarrassed to admit this, but I actually teared up a bit after reading her text message. NOT because I was jealous of her – I know she truly deserves this as she’s been in and out of crap relationships since she was 16. But it was more that I turned on the “pity party” button and started to feel sorry for myself.
Immediately my first thought turned to – you guessed it (um….or maybe you didn’t, so I’ll tell you), binging and purging. Because that would take my mind off of things. THAT would make me feel better. Right? Right?!!
And I knew this. So you know what I did?
I listened to some of my songs, and focused on the blessings in my life. Sure, I don’t have someone to share my life with. I don’t have a ring on my finger or a significant other. But you know what? That is okay!! I realize that I have SO many blessings in my life, and rather than focus on what I DON’T have, I chose to focus on what I DO have. I didn’t binge and purge, but watched a great movie (“The Social Network” – highly recommend it!) with my sister and brother-in-law, had some ice cream, and called it a day.
It was a small victory, but in that moment it felt pretty huge.
Do people get married young where you’re from? And do you ever struggle with pity parties?
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